Around Town
Give a Little - Get a Lot
Eagle Oaks Country Club Hosts 8th Annual Honor Day
Ask The Experts
AskThe Expert - Jack Giglio
Ask The Expert - Greg Nipoti
Ask The Expert - Dr. John W. Griffith of Ranney School
Bay Wellness
Bay Wellness - Welcome to our newest issue
Bay Wellness - Don't Forget
Bay Wellness - Physician Focus: Steven R. Berkman
Best Bets
Best Bet - The Loft at Arianas Grand
2016 Guide - Galaxy Toyota
Best Bet - European Wax Center
Black Book
Cover Story
Elizabeth Masucci
Fearless - Eric Casaburi
Mike Scotti - From the Front Line to the Screen
Daytripper: Museum of Modern Art
DayTripper: Northlandz
Day Tripper - Atlantic City
Eat Beat - Puglia of Red Bank
The Monmouth EatBeat - Trinity Restaurant
Monmouth Eat Beat - Ama Ristorante
Etc - The Facebook Situation
Etc - School Daze
Etc - The Endless Summer
Fall Guide
Fall Guide - Performing Theatre
Fall Guide 2014 - The Art of Wine
Fall Guide - Kids Activity
Featured Artist
Featured Artist - Leah Passafiume
Featured Artist - Franco Minervini
Featured Artist - Amy Puccio
Gift Guide
The Back Relief and Comfort Store - Gift Guide
Best Bet - Leather & Fur Ranch
The Guide 2014 - Paramount Oral Surgery
Health Talk
Health Talk - Dr. Clifford M. Sales
Health - Medimorphosis Medical
Health Talk - Beth M. Deutch MD
Health, Wellness & Beauty
Joslin Diabetes Center, Affliate at Raritan Bay Medical Center
The Cardiovascular Care Group Announces New JUST WALK Program
Health 2015 - Orthopedics
Holiday Buzz 2015
Holiday Buzz - Sights & Sounds of the Season
Chanukah Traditions In Transition
Restaurant Guide - Osteria Cucina Rustica
Living History On A Gentleman's Farm - The Griswolds
All in the Details
Timeless Classicism - Flancbaum
Letter to Colts Neck: Falling Into Good Times
Warm Winter Wishes
Spring has Sprung!
Living in Colts Neck
Montrose Schoolhouse
The Triple Crown
Gratitude in Guatemala
Newsletter Articles
The Home Gallery - Ralco Builders
Four Seasons Sunrooms & Windows
The Home - Cabitron
Our Picks
Our Pick - Decorative Touch
Our Pick - Quality Healthcare & Wellness Center
Our Pick - Cozmos Hair Color Studio
People On The Move
People On The Move - Kendall Valentin
People On The Move - John Nies
Kids On The Move - Jacqueline Sodano
Summer Guide
Summer Guide - The Beach is Back
Weigh In - What Annoys You Most About The Beach?
Weigh In - My Favorite Jersey Beach
The Bay
The Bay - Healthier Heart
The Bay - Could I Have Diabetes and Not Even Know it?
The Bay - Can The Weight Be Over?
The Guide
The Guide 2015 - Beach Tavern
The Guide 2015 - Northern Valley Affairs
Company Profile - Rejuvenate Center for Medical Aesthetics
The Home Guide
The Home - ACD Custom Granite
Our Pick - The Real Estate Boutique
The Home Guide - Joey Ds
Weigh In
Weigh In - What is Your Best April Fools Day Prank?
If you had one hour to be invisible...
Weigh In - What Annoys You Most About The Beach?

Etc - Aspirin...please.
02/27/2011 - By Eric Tucker

Etc - Aspirin...please.

Eric Tucker explores the quirky goodness of Monmouth County

Glad youre reading the first of what I hope will be many columns - providing the checks clear - written with tongue slightly  planted in cheek. The Publisher, himself, asked me to contribute material to his Living In Media publications, which focus on the  good life here in Monmouth County. I intend to focus on the good and quirky, or perhaps the quirky goodness, of the county. I  have the rare perspective of a local boy born and raised here, but please dont tell my wife. Shes a Bergen County broad.

Did you know that 98.7% of the Monmouth County residents over the age of 22 were born in either Staten Island or Guadalajara?  Its the truth! (Since the age of three, whenever our middle child uttered that declaration we knew he was lying. The greater the  conviction in his voice, the greater the attempted deceit.) However, as with many bogus statistics, theres an element of truth in that number. Many of us are from somewhere else. Carpetbaggers. Strange people in a strange land.

What is it that sets locals apart from your garden variety, outer borough transplant? Is the cause environmental? Or maybe, its the  extravagant real estate taxes. Perhaps its our local politicians, who repeatedly teach us that work is for suckers and that we are the  suckers for working so we can pay our real estate taxes. Locals develop patience living under these conditions, which helps us  survive the brutal winters and the oppressive summers. I prefer the oppression to the dark brutality of winter.

I tend to lose my patience when tired. By eight oclock in the evening Ive been awake for 15 hours, three to four of which were  spent commuting to the city. The winter darkness exacerbates the somnolence. Anyway, our lovely daughter, sweetness and light,  dances all through the winter. One of her weekly classes runs from eight to nine in the evening. I try not to have to change out of  my slippers when Im called upon to drive her there. By rights, I shouldnt have to.

The school of dance (with a soft a) is in a building whose parking lot is too small to handle the hourly drop off and pick up melee.  Expeditions and minivans are backing in and pulling out and double parking with more Expeditions and minivans waiting to pull  into the undersized lot. Now, the drop-off can often go smoothly where you pull up in front of the handicapable spots, dont have  to park, and let the princess jump out of the car and run into the academy. Theres always an exception to the rule.

One night, the driver of the car in front of us is busy texting his girlfriend or having a petit mal seizure or something. He hesitates  before reaching the drop off by the handicapable spots. I swing around him and block him in, just before he comes to and starts  driving again. I realize that my tactics were a little aggressive and want to make a quick get-away. However, mothers and their  dancers are about to back out of their spots and block me in. Seeing that I have to act fast , I step on the gas/electric (we have a  hybrid). My dancer hadnt finished getting out of the car yet. (Our kids are notoriously slow at that.) She screams. I have to stop  because people are looking. Anyway, I digress The point is, regardless, I didnt have to get out of the car dropping off.

Pick up is different. If there are no spots in the front of the academy, I have to park in the back and get out of the car. Youd  think that at nine oclock at night in a little strip mall, good parking spots would be available. But the dancing place is next to the  ubiquitous Dunkin' Donuts. Our local chapter of the Tea Party meets there and theyre growing.

I generally avoid politics, it being the work of the devil (credit Dylan). Im usually way outnumbered in any local forum anyway.  But I feel safe picking on the Tea Party. They sit there, as you walk past from your parking spot out back, flapping their traps  about this and that. Drinking their tea and avoiding their spouses. Couldnt they get a better deal on tea bags at the Shop-Rite? I bet  the original Boston Tea Partiers did not meet at a Dunkin' Donuts. Go to the mall and stimulate the economy. I never go there.  Frankly, Im surprised the landlady permits these gatherings. Shes been known to chase Brownies and Cub Scouts away. You dont suppose shes a tea connoisseur herself? Hmm....

Be that as it may (an outdated but pleasant sounding transitional phrase), one mans tea party is, to another, the last headache in a  long day of headaches. And arent we here to help one another? Thats how the good life in Monmouth County works and why Id  live no where else, unless I found some place better. The Monmouth and Ocean County area ranked highly on one of those best  places to live, quality of life surveys several years back. And we would have done even better if we did not have to carry Ocean  County. (You know what Im saying...)

Powered by eDirectory™