Around Town
RUMC Receives AHA - AHS Gold Plus Achievement Award
Renaissance Pilates Now Open
Fall Guide 2014 - The Art of Wine
Ask The Experts
AskThe Experts - Dance Attitudes
Ask The Expert - John Coscia of AJC Advisors
Ask The Expert - Marshall P.Allegra, M.D.
Bay Wellness
Bay Wellness - Making Weight Loss a Family Affair
Bay Wellness - Welcome to our newest issue
Bay Wellness - Health After Menopause
Best Bets
The Guide 2014 - Gold Coast Cadillac
Best Bet - Kukulina Jewelers
The Guide 2014 - Seasonal World
Black Book
Cover Story
Lovin' Life - Big Joe Henry
The Music Man - David Bryan
Precious Metals - Jim Gary
Daytripper
DayTripper: Princeton
Day Tripper - Staten Island Ferry Adventure
Day Tripper - FRENCHTOWN
Eats
Eat Beat - Antoinette Boulangerie
Eat Beat - Osteria Cucina Rustica
Eats: Mangia Mangia
Etc
Etc - School Daze
Etc - Turkey Day
Etc - Walking through Monmouth County
Fall Guide
Fall Guide - Kids Party Entertainment
Fall Guide 2014 - Pick Your Patch
Fall Guide - Kids Activity
Featured Artist
Featured Artist - Dorothy Kaplan
Featured Artist - José Serrano
Featured Artist - Carol Bruno
Gift Guide
Gift Guide - John Kling Cutom Homes
The Guide 2014 - Red Bank Veterinary Hospital
Gift Guide - Shelter Home
Health Talk
Health Talk - Michael J. Lacqua M.D.
Health Talk - Frank Borao, M.D.
Health Talk - Mark Song, M.D.
Health, Wellness & Beauty
Health 2014 - Overcoming Infertility
Health - Maximum Performance Fitness
Health - Freehold Radiology Group
Homes
A Grand Redesign
Backyard Bliss
Timeless Classicism - Flancbaum
Letter
Spring has Sprung!
Letter to Colts Neck: Falling Into Good Times
Warm Winter Wishes
Living in Colts Neck
La Bella Vita!
All The Pretty Horses
The Triple Crown
Newsletter Articles
WineZag - Choosing a Restaurant Wine List Over Food
The Home - Closettec
The Home Gallery - CMS Construction Group
Our Picks
Our Pick - David Lopez, M.D.
Our Pick - Durso Wealth Management Group
Our Pick - Monmouth Dental Group
People On The Move
Kids On The Move: Dave Burke
Canine on the Move: The Therapy Dog
People On The Move - Melissa Ziobro
Summer Guide
Summer Guide 2014 - Out & About
Summer Guide - The Beach is Back
Out & About - Summer 2013
The Bay
The Bay - Healthier Heart
The Bay - National Stroke Awareness Month
The Bay - Can The Weight Be Over?
The Guide
The Guide 2014 - The Pine Tavern
The Guide 2014 - Royal Dinettes
The Guide 2014 - ClosetTec
The Home Guide
The Home Guide - Ace Aluminum
The Home Guide - EncoreGarage of New Jersey
The Home Guide - Chelsea Kitchen and Bath
Weigh In
Weigh In - Castaway
Weigh In - What's Your Pet Peeve?
Weigh In - What would you want people to say at your funeral?

Etc - Tired, Busy, Distracted, and Resigned
04/30/2011

Etc - Tired, Busy, Distracted, and Resigned


Eric Tucker writes about the quirky goodness of Monmouth County for Living in Media. He has the rare perspective of a local boy born and raised here, but please don't tell his wife. She's a Bergen County broad.


Fact – the place called Adelphia is an unincorporated expanse of land, mostly in Howell, but extending into sections of Colts  Neck, Farmingdale, and Freehold Township. I learned that from my primary source of information,Wikipedia. Interestingly, or not, I’ve labored since childhood under the impression that Farmingdale was part of Howell Township. Apparently, they  rebelled and seceded from Howell 108 years ago and didn‘t tell me. Whatever. Back to Adelphia.

These days, revolutions abound. Not so in Adelphia, where the good citizens live in harmony with each other, the rest of  Howell, and nature itself. For Adelphia is home to one of my favorite destinations spring, summer, and fall: Turkey Swamp  Park. (I don’t go to places in the winter.)

Legend has it that the original park officials elected the name Turkey Swamp to keep the crowds away. It’s a wonderfully  awful name. The closest turkey may be at the diner on Route 9. Adelphia, which means brotherhood in French or something, used to be known as Turkey. The sandy soil, close to the water table, gets swampy in the rainy weather. Hence, Turkey  Swamp. My father taughtme to learn something new every day. I’m good until Friday.

Being broad minded by nature, the environmentally inclined would likely overlook the name of the park and make favorable  comparisons to Walden Woods, which was highly touted by Thoreau. Twenty seven years ago, my kindly freshman  composition teacher, who I will call “Mrs. Klingensmith” as that is her name, had us read Thoreau - an author who liked to  sit in the woods, night and day, until he needed something to eat. Then he’d walk into town. I think he would have enjoyed a  visit to Adelphia’s most famous park.

Incidentally, my teacher went by "Mrs." instead of "Prof." to differentiate her from her husband (may he rest in peace), who  went by the name “Mr. Klingensmith” and similarly taught lethargic freshmen how not to write.

Anyway, when it came time to write something, students in the class were each given a famous quotation pulled from the  reading material. I got "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." I researched by reading not only the paragraph  with that line, but the preceding and subsequent paragraphs, as well. This was years before Wikipedia came to the aid of  college freshmen.

I'm sure I did not get over a C+, my writing being what it was. Also, what could I have known about either the mass of men  or quiet desperation? Whether the mass of men cried into their pillows at night was not for me to say at the time. The class hadn't discussed it yet.

My family, subjected to living under my roof, benefits from my brief lectures. The quotation I am most apt to assault them  with is, "Simplify, simplify, simplify," when it suits my cause. There's too much stuff in this house. Things break and I can't  fix anything. Generally, I’m not listening when people talk. However, when I catch on that they are plotting to bring some  new technology or clutter-inducing apparatus into the house, particularly when it may cost money, they get my attention. "I  believe it was Henry David Thoreau,” I interject “who said 'Simplify, simplify, simplify'...blah, blah, blah" and I go on from there in my best Frau Klingensmith affectation. I added the third "simplify” originally out of ignorance of the original quote.  I keep it there now for emphasis.

 
No doubt our friend was on to something while pontificating. He was known by some as an ugly, overeducated Massachusetts  liberal. But, he had his fans. However, he seemed to insinuate that quiet desperation was pathetic or a symptom of a life not  well lived. Something we should rearrange our lives to avoid. Now that I've matured enough to grapple with the deep  significance of catch-phrases in “Walden,” I have no time to sort it out. I'm a year older than Thoreau was when he died of  the tuberculosis. And I’m too tired. Busy and tired. Distracted, too. Busy, tired, and distracted from demands and conflictive desires and limitations and expectations. The interactive and cumulative effect of these would make his consumptive  stockings spin. I’m not at liberty to sit in the woods for months or years strolling into town only to mooch a meal. There’s  no time for me to develop quotable quotes for use on Jeopardy, like Henry David, or even to read his whole book. It's more  heroic to suck it up and carry on. Fix up your house. Save for retirement. And maximize the usefulness of your limited  leisure time.

Are we not products of our environments? The following gives a flavor of my childhood environs. My father was never one  to spring for dessert. When we went out for dinner, we still ate dessert at home or in the car, if we were “vacationing.” For  vacations, we camped. Our first camping trip was to Turkey Swamp, about 20 minutes away, close enough for Dad to go  home to walk the dog he didn't like and feed the cat he never wanted. I could go on with similar vignettes; but I'm saving  them for future use.

I'll just go ahead and tell you what that environment produces: resignation. Resignation is like a layer of fat that protects  your will to live from the corrosion brought on by the disappointment that life brings most of us. The by-products of my  environment include a hesitation to order dessert, unless it's included in the kids’ meals, and the resignation that allows me to  cope with whatever Thoreau might have been talking about.








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